What To Do When Your Life Doesn’t Go As Planned!

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Hello wonderful people,

Today I am going to give you few tips on how to play along when life slaps you with surprises. If you are someone who has been following me, then you would know that I had planned to make my February, A Month Dedicated for Self-Love. I was so excited, in fact major part of my January went on planning my 28 days of self-love journey, but things did not go as planned.

My internet at home was not working and it took 12 days to get that fixed, which means I was inactive on social media and was disconnected from the blogging world. One would think, “Oh well, that’s not a biggie, you can write at a cafe or a bar with wi-fi and that should not really affect someone’s self-love rituals”. I thought the same, but all of a sudden things at work got very hectic and ended up having to spend ridiculous number of hours to finish the things on my plate. To make matters worse, my mom had an accident, nothing major by the grace of almighty and she is all fine now, but she had to undergo a surgery. The emotional stress was way too much to cope since I live far away from her. To top it all up, I got a very painful stye in my eye from last Sunday, it’s still painful and getting bigger.

During the last couple of weeks I felt like my life was hitting its rock bottom, I know what I am about to say is going to sound silly, still that ain’t going to stop me. During the last couple of weeks, I was constantly getting paper cuts (few of the fun elements of working in finance, loads of papers on my desk) and the same cuts were getting re-opened by new cuts at the same spot. The worst of all was when something happened to my phone and it was going out of charge every other hour which made calling mom at that time so difficult, mind you skype was not an option either because of the internet issue. I agree these are minor issues, but when many minor issues start getting at you like a boomerang, it can drain you down emotionally and physically. I knew I wanted this to stop but the more I worried and complained about the issues, the more I was attracting similar situations. On the positive side I still managed to find one thing each day which brightened the darkening clouds in my life (thanks to my ongoing 100Happydays challenge).

Similarly, when least expected your perfectly sailing life can get hit by the worse hurricane life brings, I am not talking about life changing disasters, but life’s little hiccups which ruin our plans. Its only normal to get upset, angry and frustrated when that happens, so was I, but as I looked for that one thing to be happy each day, I realised that in the larger scheme of things, having to change plans or moving with the flow away from your ideal plan is not all that bad. May be these glitches might slow you down a bit, but eventually you will get where you want to get, that is, only if you be strong enough, not to give up on your plans when faced with obstacles.

We all have a beautifully framed plan for our lives, but sometimes we might end up finding ourselves at a spot we never thought we would be: like being in a relationship where you are constantly having second thoughts yet living it, divorced from a marriage which once you thought was your happily ever-after, hating yourself for making those wrong choices which have completely changed the direction in which your life is moving, loathing your job which you are not passionate about and the list goes on. My life isn’t where I want it to be either but the truth is I cannot change things overnight, neither can you, but should that rub you off your happiness? Is it really worth stressing over things when you know life is too short? I don’t think so.

As you know, the whole purpose of LifePassionandHappiness is for me to share with you my journey of changing my attitude towards life and kindling that spark within me to live a happy life. With my new lifestyle, I try my best to not be in a gloomy state for too long and look out for ways to bounce back from my set backs. I admit some steps are hard and not the ones you would want to be considering when you are feeling the lowest of low in life, but nothing positive or productive is going to come out of staying in a gloomy state of mind, so you will have to make those baby steps towards finding happiness.

Here are the techniques I tried which helped me bounce back from my setbacks:

  • Take a Pragmatic approach: I understand your problems are big for you, like how the paper cuts from work were for me, but there are worse things happening in the world. If you look at the news, it’s filled with poverty, murders, rapes, wars, terrorism and what not, compared to these, the mishaps we are facing are minor, and you can’t disagree with me on that. Think of it as an interesting challenge, after all, life without challenges will be boring.
  • Positive Affirmations: Affirmation is the most powerful technique to use during difficult times, it will help you respond differently to unpleasant situations by changing your vibration. Keep saying this in your mind (or out loud if possible) as many times as you can

    I have the power within me to overcome all the obstacles in life – I am in charge of how I feelTweet This

    This might sound silly, but constantly saying positive affirmations and believing in them will attract positive things in life.

  • Write five good things about the bad situation: I know this sounds crazy, but when you are having a rough time due to any unforeseen mishap; write at-least three good things that came out of it. This is a good exercise which will take you to a higher level of acceptance called “grateful acceptance”. For example: In my case, I looked at the internet not working as a blessing in disguise, Firstly as mentioned, I was having a tough time at work and I know myself, if I had internet at that time, I would have burnt myself out trying to be a super woman, so internet not working at the right time actually prevented me from getting too worn out. Secondly, since I had that little extra time, I was able to finish the book I was reading, which otherwise would have gone on working on my blog, reading my favourite blogs, keeping my social media accounts active etc. If you remember, cracking on this new habit ” Ferocious Reading” is part of My 2015 Goals & Resolutions.Thirdly, I had more meaningful time at home, deep conversations without having the laptop on my lap whilst chatting and watching tele. It was good to give my undivided attention to all the little things at home for a change. See, there is always something good in very bad situation.
  • Gratitude Journal: We easily let ourselves to get bogged down by the things that aren’t going so well and allow the grief from it to overshadow all the good in our lives. I understand its hard to look for reasons to be thankful, specially when things are not so great, but the secret to abundance is “Gratitude”. “Whoever has gratitude will be given more, and he or she will have an abundance. Whoever does not have gratitude, even what he or she has will be taken from him or her.” Matthew 25:29. The one thing I make sure I do during difficult times is to remain grateful for all the blessings in my life. I highly advocate this habit. Also, if you have the habit of writing gratitude journal, going through all your blessings will surely lighten up you spirit during rough patches in life. Oh boy, your gartitude journal is going to be your little joy booster.
  • Do not compete with Time: DO NOT try playing catch ups, accept that you have lost time because of what ever that has happened, focus on moving forward and making the future look fabulous. It is what it is. Nothing is going to happen if you are late, yes you are late, so what? Did that kill you or someone? You won’t be working on any of your plans unless you are alive, so be grateful for the gift of life and take it easy.
  • Be flexible: Just because things have not gone your way does not mean there is no other way. Adopting a flexible and adaptable approach towards life is so very important. Think of an alternative plan which will suit the current situation. In my case I started my 30 days self-love challenge on the 14th of February and made a grand start to it with an amazing bubble bath. Yes, it would have been perfect to start my journey on the first of a month and finish it at the end of the month, but in the larger scheme of things, does that really matter when I start and finish? In my post, It’s Okay for Things in Life to be Good Enough & Not Prefect, I have written about why progress is more important than what you believe is perfect and My Recovering Perfectionist’s Manifesto  helps me stay on track and stops me from procrastinating even when there are slight deviations from my original plans.

Unfortunately life has an annoying habit of getting in the way of our perfect plans, we somehow do not have control over that, but what we do have control over is, how we react to unexpected turn on events. Trying my tips will definitely help you come in peaceful acceptance with what is happening in your life and help you move on with grace and elegance.

Keep calm and carry on
Bye… Stay Happy… Love…

Maria !!!

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